Repainting My Life: Once Tethered, Now Free

When his attitude to me was obvious,I had lost him, and with every fiber of my being, I knew it was time to let go. The decision, when it came, was bittersweet but clear.

Chapter 1

After discovering that his ex-girlfriend, Lilian Bowen, had returned from Paris after completing her fashion studies, my husband, Gale Douglas, began to drift away.

It started slowly at first, like casual mentions of Lilian’s career, the admiration in his voice when he spoke of her success. Soon, it became undeniable.

Gale was captivated, following her like a loyal duckling trailing its mother.

When Lilian opened her boutique in Providence, Gale not only attended but became her greatest sponsor, investing time, money, and admiration in a way I had never seen before.

I had been Gale's wife for four years, yet somehow, I could not compete with his new-old flame.

Gale’s eyes sparkled in Lilian's presence, and her every achievement seemed to eclipse my existence.

The day of my graduation, a day I had dreamed of sharing with my husband, came and went. Gale was not by my side, as he had promised. Instead, he flew to New York with Lilian for Fashion Week.

I was left standing alone, feeling the ache of his absence and the humiliation of explaining it to others.

When I confronted him, Gale dismissed my feelings as petty.

"Don’t be spoiled," he’d say. "You have everything here, drivers, maids, chefs, and butlers. Lilian, though, she’s alone in Providence, far from her family. She needs support."

But what about me? What about the milestones, the small and large victories I wanted to share with my husband?

The final straw came when Gale accompanied Lilian to Paris Fashion Week, meeting her parents and integrating himself even deeper into her world.

I had lost him, and with every fiber of my being, I knew it was time to let go. The decision, when it came, was bittersweet but clear.

I signed the divorce papers and left Douglas Manor. My next destination was Italy, where I could finally pursue my master degree, free from Gale’s shadow and his divided heart.

As I prepared to leave, I sent Gale one last message.

[Rachel: Since there's nothing left for me here, I will leave you to the life you have always wanted.]

His reply was cold, dismissive, and painfully revealing.

[Gale: How can you live without me? Without my money?]

At that moment, tears welled up, as I realized I had been little more than a possession to him, an accessory in his world rather than a partner in his life.

I blocked his number, severing the last tie between us, determined to start fresh and find my own path.

Days later, I heard from mutual friends that Gale was frantically searching for me, sending messages I had never received. [Rachel, I’m sorry. Please come back to me.]

——

Tomorrow, I would finally graduate after four years of intense study, majoring in Painting at the Rhode Island School of Design.

That was a day I had longed to share with my husband, Gale. But when I mentioned it to him over dinner, his response was as cold as the winter wind.

"I have something to do tomorrow," he said curtly. "I’ll just send you flowers."

With that, he rose from the table, already engrossed in his phone, leaving me staring at the empty space where he had sat, feeling as though I had been dismissed from his life entirely.

In recent months, just when I thought Gale had started to warm up to me, he grew distant again. The cause of his sudden change was no secret that his ex-girlfriend, Lilian Bowen, had returned from Paris, planning to open her own boutique in Providence.

Since her arrival, Gale has been at her side, like funding her dreams, supporting her every step, as if she were his wife.

For a whole month, I watched as he catered to her every need, lavishing her with his time and attention, while I was left with nothing but brief, dismissive conversations and half-hearted gestures.

A month ago, I opened my own art exhibition, a milestone I had worked tirelessly toward. Gale did not come.

He could not even spare a day to witness what I had created. Instead, he sent a bouquet of flowers with a generic note, a gesture that felt more like an obligation than a celebration.

Yet, when Lilian needed him to pick her up from the airport, he rushed to her side without hesitation. For her, he even managed to make time to arrange every detail for her boutique's opening in Providence, as if she was the center of his world.

It felt as though I were nothing more than a ghost in my own marriage, haunting the halls of Douglas Manor, invisible to the man I had committed my life to.

Frustration bubbling up inside me, I followed him upstairs, my voice breaking the silence.

"Why are you so cruel, Gale? When you didn’t come to my art exhibition last month, I held my tongue. When you went to pick up Lilian from the airport instead of spending time with me, I kept quiet.

“And when you poured your time and money into her boutique, I didn’t complain. But now, on my graduation day, you can’t even spare a few hours for me? Is it all because of Lilian, again?"

My voice was shaking, and perhaps the maids could hear, but I did not care. I needed him to understand the pain he was causing me.

He turned to me, sliding his phone into his pocket, his face a mixture of annoyance and disdain.

Without a word, he stepped closer, pressing me against the wall with a force that made me shiver.

“What are you fussing about this time?” he sneered. “Is your monthly allowance not enough? Or do you need some luxury gift? Just say it, Rachel, instead of making a scene.”

His words hit me like a slap. His insults cut deeper than he could ever know, reducing everything I felt for him to something material and shallow.

Tears filled my eyes as I whispered, “I don’t need your money, Gale. I need you. I need my husband to be with me, to care for me. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

But my vulnerability seemed to amuse him; he smirked, his gaze cold and mocking as he pinched my chin roughly.

“Your tears don’t work on me, Rachel. And I will never give you what you want. Don’t expect me to attend your graduation,” he said, his voice like ice.

Chapter 2

He released my chin with a sharp tug, leaving it stinging and red.

Without another word, he turned, slamming the door of his bedroom so hard it reverberated through the house.

Our marriage had always been empty, but in that moment, the reality of it crushed me.

Growing up as an orphan, I often spent my days painting in the yard of the orphanage, dreaming of a life far beyond the walls that confined me.

I longed for someone who might see my potential, adopt me, and help me pursue my passion for art.

After graduating high school, Gale's mother offered me a rare chance. They would fund my studies at the Rhode Island School of Design (RISD), one of the finest art schools in the US.

However, there was only one condition. I would need to marry their son, Gale, who was five years older than me and heartbroken after his longtime girlfriend had left him to move to Paris.

I accepted. From the very start, our union had been nothing but a contract, an agreement arranged by his mother.We lived in separate rooms, strangers under one roof.

To Gale, I was no more than a maid, tending to his every need as if that was the only reason I existed.

Though the manor was full of staff, he insisted that I be the one to lay out his clothes, draw his bath, and make his bed each day. A mockery of a marriage, stripped of affection, intimacy, or kindness.

The man I had once hoped to build a life with had become an unbearable stranger. And though my heart ached with the memories of every kindness I had tried to give him, every hope I had once clung to, I knew that I had to let them all go starting from that day.

The years passed, and I endured it all out of loyalty to her mother, who had been my only source of kindness and support. I even turned down an offer to study abroad, fearing that leaving would disappoint her.

But no matter what I did, I could never fill the place in Gale’s heart that had always belonged to Lilian, his ex-girlfriend. I was nothing more than a substitute, a shadow of the person he truly loved.

So, that night, after arguing with Gale, I felt a quiet resolve settle in me.

My professor’s words echoed in my mind. “The scholarship is yours if you want it. Italy is waiting for you, Rachel.”

It was more than an opportunity; it was a lifeline. The chance to study in Italy felt like a door finally opening after years of being locked away.

That was why I had decided to walk through it, to leave behind everything that had held me back.

The next morning, as I joined Gale for breakfast, he barely acknowledged me, his attention glued to his phone. The events of the previous night seemed to have slipped his mind entirely.

I cleared my throat, determined to press on, to speak the truth that had been aching in me for so long.

“Gale,” I began, trying to keep my tone light, “what would you think if I did a master’s degree in Italy?”

He did not look up, just waved a hand as if dismissing a minor detail. “It’s up to you,” he mumbled, his eyes still fixed on his phone screen.

I took a deep breath, forcing myself to continue. “And since I’ll be there for a while,” I said, careful to keep my voice steady, “what about a divorce?”

This time, I thought he would stop, maybe look at me, ask for an explanation. But instead, his response was the same casual indifference.

“No problem,” he muttered, still scrolling, completely unfazed.

A strange mix of relief and sorrow washed over me. There it was, all the proof I needed that I had been nothing more than a fixture in his life, something he would not miss once it was gone.

Gale had not even noticed that I had stopped preparing his clothes, or his water bath, since I had gradually handed those responsibilities to the maids.

Everything he once demanded of me had slipped away, and he had not blinked.

“Okay then,” I said, pushing back my chair and standing. I looked down at my untouched breakfast, realizing I had no appetite left.

As I rose, my eyes drifted to his phone, where a message thread glowed on the screen. The contact name, ‘My Lily,’ was unmistakable.

Gale was chatting with Lilian, her name in his phone a reminder of everything I could never be to him. His world, his devotion, his heart, those were all reserved for her.

Then suddenly a call came to his phone, it was from Lilian. After listening to her, he directly answered, fully aware, “I’ll be there in a minute.”

A bitter smile tugged at my lips. ‘So, this is what it feels like, to finally know where you stand,’ I thought.

Chapter 3

After breakfast, I made my way to campus for my graduation ceremony, my emotions swirling between pride and a quiet sense of sorrow.

That day marked the end of my years at the Rhode Island School of Design, a journey I had poured my heart into. Soon, I would be leaving for Italy to pursue my dreams.

But as I stood there, diploma in hand, surrounded by a crowd of graduates celebrating with their families, the familiar ache of loneliness crept in.

"Well, this is how it usually is, so no need to be sad that Gale didn't come, Rachel," I murmured to myself, forcing a smile as I took a steadying breath.

It was just another day alone, after all.

Fortunately, that day my professor came to congratulate me. He was delighted to hear I had accepted his scholarship offer and treated me to lunch as a warm congratulations.

“Italy’s going to be a revelation for you, Rachel,” he said with a beaming smile. “I can’t wait to see the artist you become.”

“Thank you, Prof,” I answered with a smile on my face.

His words really filled me with hope, but as I left campus and made my way home, a shadow of doubt crept in.

I found myself gazing out of the car window as we passed by the courthouse, the building looming large in my mind.

The idea of divorce hung over me, and I almost asked the driver to stop. But then I thought of Gale’s mother. How would she feel if I went through with it?

With a sigh, I decided against it for that moment.

As if by fate, my phone buzzed, and her name flashed on the screen.

“Rachel, dear!” She greeted me warmly. “Congratulations on your graduation. How about we go shopping together to celebrate?”

“It seems nice.”

I asked the driver to change course, heading back to the manor to pick her up. When I saw her standing there, a soft warmth replaced my anger toward Gale.

Despite everything, his mother had always treated me with kindness. Somehow, being with her felt like I still had a family.

We spent hours browsing through the shops, chatting like old friends, and she made sure I did not leave empty-handed.

As she inspected a designer bag, I idly scrolled through my phone, checking messages, and then a notification caught my eye.

It was a post from Lilian, she was at New York Fashion Week. And standing beside her, beaming, was Gale, their arms linked as they posed like a couple.

The caption read, [So happy to be here again this year, especially with someone you love.]

My heart clenched painfully. So, that was why he could not come to my graduation?

My grip on my phone tightened as Gale’s mother turned to me, noticing my tension. “Rachel, dear, is everything alright?” she asked, her eyes filled with concern.

I forced a smile, swallowing my disappointment. “Yes, I’m fine. Have you found what you like, Mom?”

“Yeah, I bought it for you too. I hope you like it,” she said with a warm smile while handing a shopping bag to me.

I directly answered, “Of course, I like it. Thank you for everything.”

Returning home, the manor felt emptier than ever. Gale did not come back that night, or the next few. I tried to distract myself, but a nagging feeling kept me on edge.

A few days later, I saw another post from Lilian. She was in Paris for Fashion Week.

Once again, Gale was right beside her, looking at her with pride and adoration. The more I looked, the more my stomach twisted.

Curiosity getting the best of me, I clicked through Lilian’s stories, each photo stoking the fire of my frustration.

One picture showed Gale with Lilian at her parents’ home, celebrating her birthday. In the next, he was touching her cheek, his arm wrapped protectively around her.

“Why don’t you two just move in together already,” I muttered bitterly, feeling a stab of anger I had not felt before.

The thought gnawed at me, and finally, I could not hold back any longer.

My heart raced as I threw my phone aside, gathered my things, and told the driver to take me to the courthouse. That time, I would not hesitate.

I entered the courthouse and signed the divorce papers, my signature firm and resolute.

No more wondering, no more waiting. I was taking back control of my life.

**

A few days later, Gale returned from Paris.

That evening, I prepared dinner for us, the first time we had eaten together in weeks. I was calm, focused, the divorce papers neatly folded beside my plate.

As he took his seat, I handed the documents across the table.

As Gale saw the file, without a hint of reaction, he pushed the papers back toward me. “Put it in my study. I’ll review it later.”

Stunned by his dismissiveness, I struggled to keep my composure. “You’re not even going to look at them?” I asked, unable to mask the disappointment in my voice.

After everything, that was his response?

Gale sighed, reaching for his phone. “Rachel, can we not do this now? I just got back. I’m tired.”

“Gale,” I pressed, my voice trembling, “do you even care? You haven’t noticed anything, have you? I stopped waiting on you, I stopped being the obedient wife. You barely noticed I was even gone.”

“Look,” he said with a careless wave of his hand, “just because you’re throwing a tantrum doesn’t mean I need to jump every time. Now if you’re done, please let me have a peaceful dinner.”

For a long moment, I stared at him. In his indifference, I found my answer.

I stood up, clutching the papers to my arms, and finally felt the strength to let go.

“Alright, Gale,” I whispered, barely able to meet his gaze. “I’ll leave them in your study. But this time, I’m truly done waiting for you.”

I turned and walked away, the papers in hand.

As I placed the divorce papers on his desk, my gaze drifted to a stack of receipts and statements lying in a scattered pile.

My heart sank as I scanned through them. The list of his expenses for the month since Lilian returned was exorbitant, a full fifth higher than usual.

Each item stung more than the last. Among the charges was a new penthouse purchase. I knew immediately who it was for.

On impulse, I grabbed a sticky note from his desk and scrawled a short message, “Make sure you sign it!”

Chapter 4

I started packing early, sorting through years of memories and belongings with a newfound clarity.

As I folded my own clothes, I noticed the gifts I had given Gale over the years for his birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays.

Each one was untouched, still wrapped and stashed away as if they were meaningless trinkets.

My heart ached at the sight. I had poured thought and care into each gift, hoping in vain that they would show him how much I had once tried to be a loving wife.

I directly gathered them up and placed them in the donation pile. They would go to someone who might actually appreciate them.

Alongside them, I left behind anything Gale had bought for me. Jewelry, designer clothes, anything he had given as a token to keep me quiet in his life, they all stayed.

I only packed the things I had bought with my own money, earned from the small but steady sales of my paintings.

Once my donation box was ready, I loaded it into my car and headed to the orphanage where I had grown up.

Stopping at a supermarket on the way, I picked up some snacks for the children. I might be leaving soon, but they were still a part of my heart.

As I entered the orphanage, the woman who had raised me with endless patience and kindness, the one I called ‘Mother,’ greeted me with open arms.

We settled in a quiet corner, chatting like mother and daughter.

After a while, I took a deep breath and shared my plans with her.

“I’m going to Italy for further studies,” I told her, a small smile on my face. Her eyes lit up, and she clasped my hands in hers.

“Oh, Rachel! I knew you were meant for great things,” she said warmly. “You deserve every bit of happiness coming your way.”

Her words were like balm on a wound, giving me the strength to share the next piece of news. “I’m also… I’m divorcing Gale.”

For a moment, her face fell, and she looked at me with concern. She knew how close I was to Gale’s mother, and perhaps she had once hoped our marriage could bring me the family I had never had.

But as I explained my reasons, her expression softened, and she nodded with understanding.

“Sometimes, letting go is the bravest thing we can do,” she murmured, patting my hand. “You have to follow your own path, Rachel.”

I nodded and hugged her, “Thank you.”

As evening fell, I drove back home, taking my time along the quiet roads.

It was our usual dinner hour, but tonight, I felt no urgency to rush back, no pressure to make it on time.

In the past, I would have pushed the speed limit just to ensure I arrived before dinner began, knowing how Gale would react if I were late. He had always been strict about it, insisting we share breakfast and dinner every day.

It had puzzled me for years. Why did he care so much about these shared meals when there was no real relationship between us?

Sometimes, I wondered if it was all for show, a way for him to prove to the household staff that we were a ‘normal’ couple.

But we slept in separate rooms, lived separate lives. So, why should we act like a couple then?

Even until that time, I still thought that it was the weird routine Gale always forced me.

To my surprise, when I walked into the manor, I was greeted by an unexpected scene in the living room. Gale’s younger sister, Gritte, and Lilian were there, surrounded by shopping bags branded with luxury logos.

Gritte glanced up, her expression haughty as ever. “Oh, you’re finally home, Rachel. Why so late? We’re hungry because the chef could not come today, so go cook for us.”

Her words stung, each one a reminder of the thankless role I had played in their lives. I glanced at Lilian, who avoided meeting my gaze, choosing instead to fuss with a new handbag.

At that moment, Gale appeared from the hallway, seemingly out of nowhere, and announced, “No need to fuss about cooking tonight. Let’s just have dinner outside.”

His gaze quickly shifted to Lilian, his tone softening. “What do you feel like eating, Lily?”

Lilian’s face lit up with excitement, her eyes shining as she wrapped her hand around his arm. “I want steak! Can we go to our favorite place? The one we used to go to in college?”

Gale nodded without hesitation and grabbed his car keys. Watching them so comfortable and at ease together, I tried to slip away, hoping to avoid joining this little reunion of theirs.

But Gale caught my movement and turned to me. “Come with us. You must be hungry too.”

I hesitated, keeping my voice steady. “No, thanks. I’m not hungry.”

“That wasn’t a question, Rachel.” His face turned a shade darker, his voice laced with irritation.

I sighed, feeling the weight of his gaze on me, and reluctantly agreed. “Fine.”

In the car, Lilian and Gale sat in the front seats, laughing and reminiscing, while I was relegated to the back with Gritte. She sat as far away as possible, treating me like an unwelcome stranger.

Gritte and Lilian chatted, exchanging stories and laughter, while I stayed silent, my gaze fixed out the window as the city lights blurred by.

When we arrived at the restaurant, I felt a wave of bitter familiarity.

That was the same steakhouse Gale had taken me to countless times, never once mentioning that it had once been his and Lilian's place.

It turned out, everything I had thought was ‘us’ had never truly been about us at all.

Chapter 5

As we entered, a waiter recognized us immediately, greeting us with a smile. “Ah, Mr. and Mrs. Douglas! It’s been a while since we’ve seen you both.”

I could see that Lilian’s expression was darkened when she heard that. So, she directly grabbed Gale’s arm, as if declaring if he was mine at that time.

That gesture confused the waiter, but Gale did not seem to notice. He simply requested, “Table for four, please.”

“Right this way,” the waiter replied, leading us to a familiar table, ignoring the scene that happened between us.

The truth was, that restaurant was one of Gale’s favorites because the steak was cooked tableside, allowing diners to watch or even cook it themselves.

It was something he had always insisted I do, never mentioning that it had once been a ritual he shared with Lilian.

As the grill heated up, Gritte moved to show off, grabbing the cooking tongs with a confident smirk. “I’m actually pretty good at this, you know. I just don’t like cooking unless I have to. Let me show you all.”

She flipped the steak expertly, creating a dramatic sizzle as the juices hit the hot grill.

Everything seemed fine until the oil from the meat began to drip onto the coals, causing the flames to flare up unexpectedly.

Lilian jumped, startled, and in her panic, accidentally knocked over the grill, scattering hot embers in all directions.

The embers flew toward Lilian and me, both of us seated closest to the grill. Gritte managed to dodge just in time, having noticed the oil drip seconds before.

But before I could even react, Gale had already sprung into action, scooping Lilian up in his arms.

His voice was filled with panic as he shouted to the waiter, “Call an ambulance! She’s been burned, this is serious.”

My skin stung from where the embers had landed on me, but Gale’s focus was entirely on Lilian. He did not even glance my way and did not seem to notice that I was hurt too.

For him, there was only Lilian in that moment.

As I sat there in silence, my hand instinctively brushed over the small burns on my arm, the pain sharp and immediate.

The waiter, who had been rushing to get help, glanced at me and noticed my discomfort. “Mrs. Doughlas, are you alright? Do you need medical attention?”

I opened my mouth to respond, but Gale’s voice cut through the air as he cradled Lilian closer, brushing a soothing hand over her hair.

“Make sure she’s taken care of quickly,” he ordered, his tone filled with urgency.

The waiter looked back at me, hesitating, unsure who to prioritize.

Seeing his confusion, I forced a small smile. “I’m fine. Just…please help her first.”

Gale shot me a brief, dismissive glance, as if finally realizing I was there.

“Rachel, if you’re hurt, deal with it. Just don’t make a scene,” he muttered, his voice cold.

I felt a pang in my heart, but I managed to keep my expression calm. “I wouldn’t dream of making a scene, Gale.”

He gave a curt nod, dismissing me as he returned his full attention to Lilian, gently guiding her outside as they waited for the ambulance.

Gritte stood nearby, visibly annoyed. “Great, now our night is ruined,” she muttered under her breath, not sparing a single glance at me.

Once they were out of sight, I finally allowed myself to wince, feeling the burn marks sting along my arm.

The waiter noticed and returned with a cold compress, looking at me with sympathy. “Here, ma’am. This should help.”

“Thank you,” I whispered, pressing the cold cloth against my skin, grateful for his kindness in the absence of any from the people I had once called family.

I secretly muttered, “This is the last time I will ever be ignored.”

After leaving the restaurant, I took a taxi straight to the hospital, my hand stinging from the burns I had endured in silence.

In the emergency room, the doctor examined my wound carefully.

“You’re lucky,” he said, cleaning the affected area. “It’s not too deep. With proper care, it should heal in a few days.”

“Thanks, doc.”

However, as I waited to pay, I overheard two nurses chatting nearby, their voices low but audible. “Did you hear? Mr. Douglas booked an entire floor for Lilian and brought in specialists for her consultation.”

I could not help the bitter smile that crept onto my face. He had never gone to such lengths for me, even when I had needed him most.

Shaking off the thought, I handed my credit card to the receptionist, only for her to frown and hand it back to me. “I’m sorry, Ma’am, but this card has been blocked.”

I glanced down at the card, realizing it was one Gale had issued me. He must have already seen the divorce papers and decided to cancel it as punishment.

“Oh, sorry, my mistake.” I forced a smile, handing over my personal card, the one that held the savings I had managed to accumulate from selling my artwork.

‘Habit is a powerful thing,’ I thought, a small shiver running through me.

For years, I had relied on Gale’s provisions, but then I saw how fragile that dependency really was.

With my hand freshly bandaged, I returned to the manor, determined to avoid Gale and Lilian, who would be spending the night at the hospital.

The staff, seeing the bandage, looked at me with concern, but I waved it off.

“It’s just a small injury,” I assured them. “Please, don’t worry and I apologize for disturbing you so late.”

As I woke up the next morning, a soft chime on my phone interrupted me. I glanced at the screen, barely containing a gasp.

It was an admission notice from the Arts Academy in Italy, confirming my acceptance. The school requested that I submit an artwork as part of the final requirements.

The thrill of it overpowered everything else. I wasted no time.

Grabbing my art supplies, I made my way to my car. The driver offered to take me, but I declined, feeling a surge of independence.

I drove to the RISD Museum, seeking inspiration among the art and history that had once captivated me.

The hours melted away as I sketched and painted, losing myself in the process on my studio.

For the first time in ages, I felt free, as if the weight of my marriage had lifted, allowing me to breathe and create without boundaries.

With each brushstroke, I felt a part of myself returning, a part I had long abandoned in Gale’s shadow.

I was so absorbed that I had not realized night had fallen until my phone rang, shattering the peace of the studio.

I glanced at the caller ID. It was Gale.

A flicker of annoyance made me answer. “What’s the matter?”

“Where are you?” His voice was sharp, laced with irritation. He must have returned home, expecting to find me there, sitting dutifully at the dinner table.

“Wherever I am is none of your business, Mr. Douglas,” I replied, my tone icy.

His silence was brief, but I could practically feel his anger crackling through the line. “How long are you going to keep up this tantrum, Rachel? Is this about the credit card?”

He scoffed, “If it really is, you should stop playing games with these divorce papers. We both know you can’t survive without me.”

I took a steadying breath, steeling myself before I replied. “In fact, I can.” And with that, I hung up, blocking his number without a second thought.

Moments later, a message appeared on my screen.

[Gale: Come back right now, or I will drag you home.]

I typed my response without hesitation.

[Rachel: Never.]

And with a final, liberating swipe, I blocked his contact.